The TEDxPortofSpain effect. How the TEDx experience impacted one of our volunteers.

 

Recently we asked the TEDx community to share their experiences. Many of you shared some very powerful stories and ideas, but one stood out for us. Analise, one of our volunteers shared her experience at our recent conference. Here is a short blog post of her story. To share your own story click here. 

One of the highlights of TEDxPortofSpain 2012 was definitely the talk shown on The Power of Vulnerability by Researcher Brene Brown. When it was posted on our Facebook page there were likes and comments galore – the most I’ve seen a TED.com talk receive on the page.

Truth is I’ve seen the talk at least 4 times before it was viewed at TEDxPortofSpain however it was only at that time did it really resonate with me.

Lesson 1: Connection is why we are here.

A hindrance to our connection with each other? SHAME which really means I’m not good enough. Not good enough has always been a personal struggle of mine so I was a bit surprised to hear that it was not so uncommon. I thought I was the only one who didn’t have everything figured out.

Lesson 2: People who are willing to be vulnerable understand that things may not always go their way but it is the birthplace of joy, love and creativity.

Brene Brown describes vulnerability is defined as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. Embracing vulnerability is something, which was not taught in my household, in fact being vulnerable might be seen as weak.

My revelation

After much introspection and prolonged inner dialogue (you know the kind where you aren’t talking to yourself but you really are), the most important lesson I’ve learnt about having the courage to be vulnerable – it is also having the courage to be authentic.

Being authentic for me are:

1. being true to my core values and my likes, regardless of society and it pressures.
2. being true to my feelings to people close to me in my life.
3. Acknowledging that it’s ok to make mistakes (even really big ones) from time to time.
4. Having empathy for others.

When that light bulb went off in my head, I let out a huge sigh of relief – it’s ok to not have everything together all of the time. What’s important is that you are at peace with who you are as a person and that you continually learn from your mistakes.

Finally that phrase Oprah says all of the time made sense, I am enough.

Being vulnerable is all part of the process of knowing and creating self.

Knowing oneself especially one’s flaws is not an admission to weakness – in fact it can sometimes be a sign of strength – a good gauge of self-awareness and allows for the continual self-renewal and improvement process to occur.

I’ve decided like Brene I needed to change the way I am living. Maybe embracing fear will help me achieve my elusive goals. I’ve decided to come up with a manifesto of sorts which I can continually refer in order to embrace this new lifestyle. It may change or it may not depending on how my personal growth goes however it is a step in the right direction.

So here it is, I Analise Kandasammy promise that going forward:

1. I will show up and be engaged no matter how uncomfortable it is for me. 
2. I hereby choose to live authentically with the people who are close to me and persons I work with. 
3. I will exhibit self-compassion first – allow myself to make mistakes and not beat myself up over them. It is only through self-compassion can I truly be compassionate with others. 
4. Learning to set boundaries and say no – saying no to people makes me feel extremely vulnerable. 
5. I will take emotional risks (as risky as a former banker could) irregardless of how uncomfortable I may feel and not overanalyse the consequences. 
6. I AM worthy of love and kindness. I will embrace my strengths and my weaknesses. 
7. If it scares the hell out of me – it’s probably totally worth it!!!!

 

WISH HER LUCK!!! 

To share your own story click here.

Signing out!

Analise and the TEDxPortofSpain team. .