Contemporary Love Commentary xoxo

For this week’s blogpost, one of our volunteers, Gaby Attong explains how wrong we can be when using social media to discover details about our friends or acquaintances’ lives.  Do you agree?

When was the last time you spoke to someone in person more than you spoke to them on Whatsapp, iMessage, via text or BBM (since its back and all)?

How often do you refer to Facebook or Instagram to confirm or deny reports of someone coupling up with someone else?

When was the last time you had an actual face to face with someone you were interested in or even involved with?

I am sure the answers given to these questions will deem us a generation ruled by devices, social media and the inability to communicate without the assistance of technology. I am guilty of being dependent on technology for most of my communication and yes I admit my romantic pursuits. Due to this reliance I have realized that old fashioned face to face communication is something archaic.

One of this year’s award winning shorts at the Toronto International Film Festival, “Noah” explores the impact that social media, particularly Facebook has on the development of a relationship. It chronicles love in the contemporary age. The protagonist, Noah is speaking to his girlfriend on Skype about their imminent moves and the possibility of long distance when they lose their Skype connection. Instead of calling him back, his girlfriend tells him they will speak later. Due to her tone during her conversation, Noah immediately assumes she wants to break up with him and to confirm his assumption he heads to her Facebook profile. Without giving away too much of the film, we can conclude one thing:

Facebook enables the right to ASSUME. Take these typical examples below:

Lack of Facebook activity
Person has DIED- yes died- we throw that word around freely.

Changed Profile Picture from one with someone to a solo picture
They’ve broken up

Status went from “in a relationship” to nothing at all
Single

No pictures of the couple posted
Not really together

I can go on for a while with a few of the ridiculous assumptions that we are all guilty of making but I digress. These assumptions have made the idea of finding love or making a real connection very difficult in this world run by technology.

It is now safe to insist that a contemporary love affair consists of three players, the two involved and technology. A successful relationship is blossomed by learning how to create a fair playing ground for the players involved in your relationship.

So here is a suggestion to eradicate the dangerous assumptions that are imminent with contemporary love, it’s a wild one so be prepared:
How about we have a real conversation, a FACE TO FACE conversation- make a real connection, one without the assistance of a messaging service or social media???

In keeping with this year’s theme for TEDxPortofSpain, “Connecting”, let us connect without technology and understand that the real connection is made through speech and real gestures, smiles and laughs and not typed words and emoticons. So the next time you spot someone across the room that you want to get to know, go up to them, introduce yourself and let the face to face connection (hopefully love connection) begin.

Happy Connecting!

Gaby x